Overcoming Personality Disorders from Childhood Events

It is always recommend to work with a qualified NLP practitioner or hypnotherapist. All therapists from the Hypnotherapy and NLP clinic based in Hertfordshire and North London are trained to undertake the processes mentioned below.

An NLP change personal history technique can be useful when someone with a personality disorder has experienced a traumatic incidents in their past or during childhood. It’s a technique for eliminating traumas so that those events are no longer viewed as traumatic or perceived as being traumatic in the moment of now.

The client remembers a time in the past when they experienced some kind of traumatic event and then we use ‘leverage’ which is calling to mind the pain and pleasure related to this. For example, that the pain would continue if they held on to this problem and the pleasure that would be experienced if they got rid of it. Then you break their state – so change their thinking or subject to ‘reset’ their mind.

Ask them for a list of positive resource states which they could to utilise now and if they’d had those at the time when the old event happened then the event wouldn’t have been a problem in the first place. Now using that list of resources they’ve given you, you create a stacked resource anchor.

With the build-up of all of those positive resources you test it and make sure that the anchor is way more intense, much stronger than any of the negative feelings that are associated with the old events. Then you have the client remember and relive the event in their mind but they do it fully associated so they kind of relive it through their own eyes whilst you (the practitioner) fire off the resource anchor so that you get all the good feelings coming back as they relive the old event. And what that does is it means that they re-experience the old event but with all of those good resources there now.

In doing so, they have a different experience of the old event.

Another thing we can do, is a parts integration. We chunking up on both elements of their personality where we have the incongruence.

For example, if the issue is ‘I want to connect with people and I also want to be alone’. There’s an incongruence there, we know that that person is trying to seek two completely opposite things both at the same time and it’s causing them some distress because they’re always unable to do it. When we say ‘chunk up’ we would ask questions on each of the statements that are incongruent with each other such as “For what purpose? What does that do for you? What’s your highest intention in doing that?”

Those questions take us up to a greater overall need that they’re trying to meet – for example connection. Then we also look at the flip side opposing portion of what they stated and ask the same questions. Once you found that there is some similarity between actually what those two needs are trying to meet, then you can give the unconscious mind and the nervous system the opportunity to process that actually these two polar opposites are alternately trying to seek the same aim and the same goal and then we can reintegrate, which is where we use our parts integration.

So, one of the final things we can do to assist someone with a personality disorder is to teach them what in NLP we call, second position.

So, when we use the perceptual positions technique we basically have a client in first position being themselves and in second position they’re seeing their situation and their behaviour from another person’s perspective, so they get an outside perspective on what’s going on. And this can be really useful for these people with personality disorders who are trapped and caught up in their own unhelpful thinking in their heads.

In the same way that when they perhaps had a traumatic event as a child, quite often the reason why that event is recorded as a trauma is because children haven’t developed the ability necessarily to dissociate from what’s going on, so to take a kind of objective view of it and to have that experience of stepping outside of themselves and to view it from an outside perspective. As we get older, we develop more of an ability to dissociate from bad things that happen but sometimes adults have not developed that skill either so it’s a very useful thing to teach.

There will always be challenges in the future and if instead of getting caught up in those challenges, you’re able to step back from them and view your own behaviour and reactions and notice how your thinking and feeling, then that can be an incredibly insightful thing.

It can definitely offer some room for reacting differently and getting some better results. To find a hypnotherapy specialist or NLP coach in Hertfordshire or North London, contact the Hypnotherapy and NLP clinic.


By Gemma Bailey