Tag Archives: Happiness

All in the Nick of Time!

Do we move problems through time? Well here is an example of how you might. I
am going to give you some sentences below. I want you to notice how they make
you think or feel differently.

I have a problem. Just repeat that to yourself and notice how it makes you think
and notice how it makes you feel.

I did have a problem.
I had a problem.
I am going to have a problem.
I’m having a problem.
I’ve always had problems.
I’ll always have problems.
I’ll always have had problems.

Now what you will have noticed is that for each sentence the problem is travelling
in a different place, it might be stuck in the past, it might be still in the present,
or it might be moving into the future and if we do that again and change the word
‘problem’ to ‘happiness’ and adjust it slightly so it still works grammatically then
you can notice how it makes you think or feel differently:

I have happiness.
I did have happiness.
I had happiness.
I’m going to have happiness.
I’m having happiness.
I always had happiness.
I always have happiness.
I’ll always have had happiness.

Once again think about where that happiness is – is it in the past, is it in the
present, or is it in the future? Just by simply changing a few words in the sentence
can make you think and make you feel very differently.

Now doing these kinds of NLP linguistic exercises doesn’t necessarily get rid of all
the bad stuff when we move our problems into the past or into the future and it
doesn’t necessarily guarantee that you will be wildly successful in the future just
by talking about having happiness now and having happiness in the future but you
can definitely get in touch with a little sense of making yourself perhaps feel a bit
lighter, or a bit heavier about things and that’s what hypnotherapy and NLP
therapy is really about. It’s not about massive major breakthrough changes all of
the time, but it is part of a bigger package. It is part of the ingredients of making
things start to work a little bit differently for you.

Start experimenting with it. What if the problems that stayed and the happiness
that came and went were actually influenced by the expectations created in your
language? If that were true wouldn’t you wish to err on the side of caution, just in
case you really do possess the ability to influence your own experience in
with your words.

You would talk about that old phobia as opposed to your phobia. You would talk
about the depression you had, instead of the depression that you have. You would
talk about the success you are creating, instead of the success that you are looking
forward to achieving. You would talk about the happiness that you’re feeling
rather than the happiness that you are looking forward to.

Simply about changing a few little words here and there with your hypnotherapist
in Hertfordshire, Bedfordshire, Essex or Coventry. Start talking about the old
painful stuff as if it is old and in the past. Start talking about the stuff you want to
and will achieve in the future as being bright, beautiful and not too far away.
Instead of talking about the things that you want to talk about the things that you are
doing. The things that you are achieving. Fix them in time and start moving
towards them and start to notice the difference that can make for you.

The Hypnotherapy and NLP Clinic provides Hypnotherapists and NLP coaches in
Hertfordshire, Bedfordshire, Buckinghamshire, Essex and Coventry to help with the
management of stress, anxiety and depression.

For more information about our free consultations and sessions, contact us on 0203

By Gemma Bailey

Find Your Happy

Some might say happiness is the absence of fear, stress or anxiety. For me it is more than that. Happiness helps us to access confidence more easily and is responsible for generating your overall feeling of positivity and contentment.

Since happiness is an emotion, it means we have full-time access to it, after all, we are the generators of our emotions. Of course, our circumstances might cause us to feel other emotions too. Ones that interfere with out ability to access happiness in that moment. Although it is estimated that only 10% of our overall happiness comes from your environment.

This means that whilst we could take a universal tragedy, that depending on how someone perceived that situation, there could still be people who would consider themselves happy in spite of it. This can only be caused by how they chose to think about the life rather than what life actually presents them with.

Learning to find happiness (especially if you have grown up with or work in an environment with particularly negative people) can be a real challenge. How can you condition yourself to have more happiness more of the time?

Comparative thinking is just one of the ways that we teach clients at the hypnotherapy and NLP Clinic in Hertfordshire. Comparative thinking is when, if you’re in a bad place and you notice someone who’s in a worse position than you, it starts to make you feel better as a result of comparing your situation to that of somebody who is, in some way, worse off. Comparative thinking comes from the school of positive psychology and is a way that people can effectively begin to change how they feel about their present circumstances.

Another way to increase your levels of happiness is to stop only rewarding yourself with happiness when you have achieved a goal. You’ve probably heard about the dangers in seeing yourself as successful once you have completed something. The problem this creates is you only have a very short moment of feeling successful before you have to create another goal post somewhere further away. If you do this with happiness too, it’s something you will constantly seek and never find. Avoid telling yourself things like “I’ll be happy when I’m with my perfect partner” or “I’ll be happy when I’ve bought a new car.” Find happiness in the now.

If happiness for what you have right now seems like to big an undertaking, then a smaller step can be to begin to find happiness in the every day things that you have learned to take for granted. For example, seeing a butterfly or a moment of warm sunshine on your face before the clouds blow over. When you have these experiences remark out loud or in your mind how lovely they are, or how grate fun you are. This will start to reprogram your mind to seek out more experiences like this. Plus it increases your positive memory references so that you have good memories you can return to for a top-up or ‘happy’ when you need it.

By Gemma Bailey