Tag Archives: Hypnotherapist Hertfordshire

Depression

Let’s face it: everyone experiences feelings of depression at some point in their lives. Life’s circumstances and events can sometimes push us into this emotional state, making it feel like we have little control over our feelings. Recognising moments when feeling down is entirely justified, sadness, irritability, or anger. However, the real issue arises when we find ourselves stuck in that mindset for too long, either because we can’t seem to move past it or because we slip into that state too frequently, even when things are generally going well.

When someone is deeply depressed, it often becomes evident in their demeanour and presence. You might sense an unsettling vibe that indicates something is off. There are several signs to look for: their voice may carry a heavy, opposing tone, and their choice of words often reflects a bleak outlook. Physically, they may appear drained, unenthusiastic, and even unwell, mirroring how they feel inside. The risk of remaining in this emotional state is significant; like any habit, the more you dwell in it, the easier it becomes to slip back in, leading to a more intense experience of those feelings each time.

The neural networks associated with depression in the nervous system are becoming increasingly robust. Imagine a busy motorway with well-maintained roads, and traffic flows smoothly. In this analogy, the highway represents the neural pathways, while the cars symbolise the thoughts that contribute to feelings of depression. As these pathways strengthen, the flow of negative thoughts accelerates. Conversely, if we think of positive emotions as a narrow, winding country lane, it becomes clear that it’s harder for traffic to navigate there. However, the more we choose to travel that positive route, the easier it becomes to traverse. By reducing our use of the “depression motorways,” we allow them to become overgrown and less travelled 🌱.

The wheel of life, a tool utilised by **NLP** practitioners, serves to pinpoint the areas in your life that may be causing you the most difficulty. Imagine it as a bicycle wheel; if it’s not balanced and well-rounded, you’ll likely experience a rough journey! When you notice this imbalance, it’s wise to seek a skilled coach, ideally one who can provide **therapy** for the challenging aspects of your life and help you maintain your best state. In **Hertfordshire**, **North London**, **St Albans**, and **Hemel Hempstead**, or even **online via Zoom**, experienced **NLP** and **Hypnotherapy** professionals can guide you through this process.

**NLP** can be a powerful tool for fostering empowerment, but it’s important to remember that a skilled **NLP** practitioner won’t allow you to shift the blame onto others for your feelings. The essence of empowerment lies in taking charge of your emotions rather than letting them dictate your actions. Relying on external factors to determine your emotional state won’t lead to true empowerment. While a good practitioner will undoubtedly listen and show empathy, their primary role is to guide you toward positive transformations and help you maintain a more uplifting mindset rather than dwelling on the reasons for your distress 💡.

Here are three significant things to consider when eliminating depression:

1) **The Mind**

Where’s your head at? What do you spend most of your time thinking about? Daydreaming about? Remembering? Quality stuff that makes you feel good, or bad stuff that, guess what, makes you feel bad?

2) **The Body**

Are you staying hydrated? Are you fuelling your body with nutritious foods? Are you getting sufficient rest? Remember that your body functions like a laboratory filled with various chemicals, requiring your active participation to maintain balance. By choosing the right foods and drinks, you play a crucial role in this process. Your emotions are influenced by hormones, which are essentially chemicals. Therefore, ensuring you’re providing the proper nutrients to keep your internal lab thriving is vital 🍎💧.

3) **The Spirit**

Are you engaging in activities that truly make you feel alive? I often encounter downcast individuals, and when I ask them, “Do you enjoy your job?” the majority respond with a resounding “No.” It’s essential to incorporate experiences that bring you joy to achieve happiness. Since we typically invest more hours at work than with our loved ones, our jobs must be fulfilling. Reflect on the hobbies that uplift you, and equally important, assess the company you keep. We tend to mirror the traits of those we surround ourselves with, so if you find yourself among pessimistic individuals, don’t be surprised if those attitudes start to influence you.

If you or someone you know is struggling with low mood, emotional fatigue, or negative patterns, know that effective help is available. Combining **therapy**, **NLP**, and **Hypnotherapy** can offer long-term emotional resilience. Sessions are available across **North London**, **Hertfordshire**, **St Albans**, **Hemel Hempstead**, and also **online via Zoom**, offering flexibility and access wherever you are.

By Gemma Bailey

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You Are Rewarded

Once upon a time, rewards were reserved for children, often in the form of stickers on a star chart. However, those days are long gone, as the concept of rewards has now entered the lives of adults.

Tesco, Sainsbury’s, and Boots offer excellent rewards for my shopping habits. When I take advantage of online offers, I occasionally receive a bonus. Plus, I get a discount if I pay my car insurance fully.

Are rewards still effective? I attended an event recently where the speaker incentivised action-takers with rewards during his sales pitch. Seeing people jump up and rush to the sales desk was impressive, demonstrating that rewards still have some influence.

In essence, receiving a reward means gaining something for your efforts. Take, for instance, the case of a Springer Spaniel named Poppy who has gone missing near my neighbourhood. If I manage to locate her, I will be rewarded. It’s a straightforward trade-off. However, Tesco and Sainsbury’s employ a more clever strategy.

The process often starts with you making the initial contribution, after which you receive a reward. However, to claim that reward, you need to invest even more. **Therapy** operates similarly to Sainsbury’s model, where the client takes the initiative to reach out to the coach or therapist. They are provided with tools and techniques designed to empower them, but these come at a cost. In **Hertfordshire** and **North London**, we have skilled **NLP** and **Hypnotherapy** practitioners ready to assist you in making the desired changes 🧠✨.

Payment can take many forms; it might be the tangible cash in hand or the emotional investment and mental shifts required for growth. However, the benefits extend far beyond the initial transaction. When clients embrace their authentic selves or break free from past challenges, the positive effects ripple into various aspects of their lives. These rewards are ongoing, and so the commitment must persist. Clients must keep channelling their positive thoughts and energy into their newfound abilities, or the benefits flow may dwindle.

Sometimes, the benefits might not appear significant, timely, or extensive enough, leading clients to withdraw their investments. It’s crucial to grasp what rewards the client desires, their timeline for receiving them, and whether those expectations are attainable. Documenting these details is similar to the terms and conditions associated with your shopping rewards. A skilled **NLP** therapist or **Hypnotherapy** coach in **Hertfordshire**, **St Albans**, or our **North London** **therapy** rooms will collaborate with you to help you establish these goals.

It can sometimes be beneficial to embrace the idea of not receiving immediate rewards. Engaging in activities simply because they are necessary can be challenging for many, especially those accustomed to quick and intense gratification. For instance, individuals who struggle with weight often find themselves indulging in unhealthy foods for that instant pleasure. Transitioning away from such habits and incorporating exercise may involve some discomfort, but the long-term benefits far outweigh the fleeting satisfaction of a slice of cake 🎂. Choosing healthier options can lead to a longer, more active life. You may discover that the eventual benefits are more significant by forgoing immediate rewards. Learning to perform tasks without expecting any reward can be incredibly valuable. Often, these actions lead to the most fulfilling rewards. Seeking guidance from an **NLP** practitioner or **Hypnotherapist** in **Hertfordshire**, **Hemel Hempstead**, or through **online therapy via Zoom** can support your weight loss journey and help you maintain a healthy diet.

A client shared a story about a time he felt terrific about himself. He recounted how he once assisted a couple with a tiny baby whose car had broken down. He offered them shelter for the night at his home, but they never contacted him again. There was no external recognition or reward, just the warm satisfaction of knowing he had done a kind deed 😊.

Sometimes, the most significant rewards you can get are the ones you least expect!

By Gemma Bailey

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Eating Disorders

Eating disorders can manifest in various forms and present a range of symptoms. The three most commonly recognised eating disorders are anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorder.

Individuals who have anorexia often engage in extreme food restriction, sometimes avoiding food for days due to an intense fear of gaining weight. This behaviour can lead to severe health complications, as the body lacks the essential nutrients to function correctly. Anorexia can be life-threatening, making it critical to seek **therapy** as soon as possible. Those struggling with this disorder frequently have a distorted perception of their bodies when they look in the mirror. While it may seem that the issue is solely about body image, the deeper problem often lies in their desire for control. Many individuals with anorexia are on a relentless quest for perfection, yet they rarely feel they achieve it.

**Hypnotherapy** can help reduce the anxiety that stems from the immense pressure individuals with anorexia often place on themselves. It also provides a means to explore and address any lingering negative emotions tied to past experiences that may have contributed to the development of the disorder. These sessions are available **online via Zoom**, and in-person in **Hertfordshire**, **North London**, **St Albans**, and **Hemel Hempstead** 🧠💬.

**NLP** and **Hypnotherapy** offer practical ways to improve self-esteem, mainly when it is low. By focusing on solutions that address the emotional needs of someone with anorexia, rather than adding stress by fixating on food and weight gain, we can create a more supportive environment. This approach is especially beneficial in the early stages, as it aligns with the individual’s focus and fosters internal motivation to heal.

Bulimia presents a distinct set of symptoms that set it apart from other eating disorders. Those with bulimia often consume large quantities of food in a short period, which may follow periods of starvation. After these binge episodes, they typically induce vomiting or use laxatives to eliminate the food. This cycle can occur sporadically, ranging from every few weeks to daily, and many individuals may binge eat in secret.

Like anorexia, bulimia is closely linked to self-esteem issues and various emotional challenges. However, despite being more common than anorexia, bulimia often goes unnoticed. This is mainly because individuals with bulimia may appear to have a normal body weight or be slightly overweight. Nevertheless, the risks are just as serious, and the impact on overall health can be profoundly damaging.

**Hypnotherapy** and **NLP** provide valuable tools for addressing the emotional hurdles faced by individuals with bulimia. Through hypnotic suggestions, fostering more positive behaviours while exploring past relationships and emotional experiences is possible. Additionally, hypnotic techniques can help individuals become more attuned to their body’s natural fullness signals, reducing the urge to binge.

Eating disorders do not always result in significant weight loss; in fact, obesity is becoming an increasingly urgent issue. Projections suggest that within a few years, one-third of the UK population could be classified as obese. While unhealthy eating habits are often associated with obesity, binge eating is another major contributing factor. This behaviour involves consuming large amounts of food throughout the day or eating even when already full. The long-term health consequences of these patterns are severe, including risks of heart disease, diabetes, and high blood pressure.

Negative emotions often trigger binge eating. People risk establishing a harmful cycle when they turn to food out of boredom or for comfort. This cycle can lead to a reliance on food whenever boredom or emotional distress arises. However, **Hypnotherapy**, **NLP**, and consistent **therapy** can help redirect the mind towards healthier ways to address these needs. By using hypnotic suggestions, individuals can develop motivation to meet their needs constructively. Consistent practice of these suggestions can form new, healthier habits and a more peaceful relationship with food 🍽️💛.

Whether you’re based in **North London**, **Hemel Hempstead**, **St Albans**, **Hertfordshire**, or prefer the convenience of **online therapy via Zoom**, there are supportive and effective options available to help you on your journey to recovery.

By Gemma Bailey

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Overcoming Nail Biting Through Hypnotherapy

Nail biting is often regarded as a chronic detrimental habit, frequently associated with symptoms of anxiety or stress. This behaviour can manifest unconsciously, making individuals unaware of the moments when they place their fingers in their mouths to bite their nails. Conversely, some individuals may recognise their actions yet feel an irresistible urge to persist, rationalising their behaviour by citing imperfections or tears in their nails as justification for continued biting.

The unconscious mind controls all behaviours and habits. Thus, any necessary changes must be made at this level. **Hypnotherapy** is an effective method for altering unconscious thoughts and behaviours. This is because, during hypnosis, the conscious mind is less active than in our normal waking state. As a result, suggestions can be readily accepted without being scrutinised or filtered by the conscious mind.

For clients based in **North London**, **St Albans**, **Hemel Hempstead**, or **Hertfordshire**, or for those who prefer working remotely **online via Zoom**, professional support is easily accessible. In these settings, **therapy** combining **Hypnotherapy** and **NLP** techniques can be tailored to each individual’s unique experience with nail biting 🧠💅.

Specific individuals persist in biting their nails beyond the nail bed, resulting in soreness and bleeding of the fingers. However, even those not engaging in such severe behaviour may still inflict damage upon themselves through nail biting. A significant amount of bacteria resides beneath the nails, particularly on unwashed hands, with *Staphylococcus* being one such bacterium that can be present. This bacterium is associated with illnesses like impetigo and toxic shock syndrome.

Nail biting may also lead to dental damage, as biting down on nails can cause teeth to collide with significant force. Although nails are composed of keratin, the same material found in hair, the rapid and forceful contact between teeth can result in harm 🦷.

In my experience, the most effective treatment for addressing nail-biting behaviour in patients has been **Hypnotherapy**, combined with carefully crafted hypnotic suggestions to induce feelings of nausea when the fingers are brought to the mouth. This method not only acts as a preventive measure for nail biting but also brings the behaviour to the patient’s conscious awareness, allowing them to decide whether to continue the habit.

To complement this, **NLP** interventions are used to identify triggers and patterns behind the behaviour, replacing them with healthier coping mechanisms. Integrating tools such as **self-hypnosis** or **hakalau** can provide new, calming alternatives that lead to deep relaxation and break the cycle of unconscious response.

Whether you’re based in **Hertfordshire**, **St Albans**, **North London**, or looking for **therapy** sessions **online on Zoom**, there are effective solutions available to help you overcome this habit and regain control.

A client said, “My stress management has improved. I don’t feel as tense. I think I’m cured! My nails are starting to grow.” 🌟

By Gemma Bailey

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The Fear of Public Speaking and Stage Anxiety

Have you ever felt you could sense people’s eyes on you? If so, you’ll understand the powerful impact a skilled public speaker can have. A confident public speaker radiates calmness, charisma, and ease when addressing an audience. Their voice remains steady, as if they were speaking to close friends, even if the audience is made up of strangers. Their tone is enthusiastic, sparking interest in the topic, and their body language complements their message without overshadowing the content of their speech.

Public speaking can be a daunting challenge for many, particularly if they feel they lack the necessary skills. Those nervous about speaking in front of others often have an internal feedback system that alerts them when something isn’t quite right. This can manifest in physical symptoms like sweating, a shaky voice, or mental blocks. Fortunately, there are effective treatments available, such as **NLP**’s fast phobia intervention and **Hypnotherapy**. Through **Hypnotherapy**, individuals can visualise themselves responding calmly in situations that once caused anxiety while also receiving suggestions for new behaviours and positive thought patterns. These techniques are offered in **North London**, **Hertfordshire**, **St Albans**, **Hemel Hempstead**, and also **online via Zoom** 💻.

Some individuals may be competent public speakers but struggle to captivate their audience truly. This can make it difficult for them to identify the root of the problem. They might receive feedback about their presentations falling flat or feeling disconnected from the audience, such as a lack of eye contact or visible disinterest. Incorporating hypnotic suggestions and basic body language and gestures training can be highly beneficial. This is where tailored **therapy** can make a lasting difference , helping speakers develop not just confidence, but genuine connection with their listeners.

Exploring the world of the “Satir categories” is a particular passion of mine. Virginia Satir’s groundbreaking work identified five physical gestures that reveal a person’s inner thoughts and behaviours. By recognising and interpreting these gestures, families in **therapy** can bridge gaps in understanding each other’s emotions and assumptions. These same insights are incredibly powerful when applied to public speaking and communication in general.

Incorporating these gestures into public speaking training, alongside techniques for voice modulation and the use of impactful sensory language, can significantly enhance presentations. These tools help to emphasise key points and keep the audience engaged throughout the talk 🎤✨.

Whether you’re seeking help for performance anxiety or looking to sharpen your impact in front of a crowd, combining **NLP**, **Hypnotherapy**, and strategic communication coaching can bring about remarkable transformation. Sessions are available in person across **Hertfordshire** and **St Albans**, or remotely via **Zoom**, making it easy and flexible to access the support you need.

One client shared: “I’ve found myself getting less worked up in meeting situations.” 😊

By Gemma Bailey

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The Application of Hypnosis in Pain Management

In 1838, the first recorded instance of painless hypnosis surgery took place. Dr. Elliotson seized the opportunity to demonstrate hypnosis (then referred to as mesmerism) to the public at London University College Hospital. By 1845, James Esdaile had successfully performed over 2,000 operations, including amputations, on hypnotised patients who reported feeling no pain during the procedures.

In 1955, hypnosis received official approval from the British Medical Association. This endorsement followed its successful use during World War II to treat soldiers suffering from post-traumatic stress and even to carry out surgeries in situations where medical resources were limited.

While the exact mechanism behind hypnosis for pain control remains unclear, research suggests it may be based on a ‘dissociation model’, similar to what is observed in patients with Multiple Personality Disorder. Dissociation can effectively eliminate pain by placing it in a kind of psychological storage area, away from the patient’s conscious awareness. Throughout history, there are numerous accounts of hypnosis being used as an alternative to anaesthetics.

This dissociation model is often called the “hidden observer” model of cognition.

Hypnotherapy, combined with modern techniques such as NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), can offer powerful results for those managing chronic discomfort. These methods are available through therapy sessions in North London, Hertfordshire, St Albans, and Hemel Hempstead, or conveniently online via Zoom 💻🧠.

NLP can also be an effective method for reducing pain. By identifying the submodalities associated with their pain, essentially the mental coding linked to the experience, individuals can adjust these submodalities to see how it affects their perception of pain. For example, they can focus on the submodalities of a pain-free area of the body or recall a time when they were free from pain to create a contrast. This allows them to adjust the submodalities of their pain to match those of a pain-free state. For instance, if someone describes their pain as a red, throbbing ball, they might experiment with reimagining it as a pink, wobbly blob to see if that changes their experience of discomfort.

This type of therapy, especially when combined with Hypnotherapy and NLP, is a gentle, drug-free alternative to managing certain types of pain. Practitioners in St Albans, Hertfordshire, or online on Zoom can guide you through this process to help you shift your perspective and, in turn, your physical experience.

It’s important to remember that pain is your body’s way of signalling that something is wrong. Before using these techniques to manage or override pain, you must seek approval from your doctor.

“I had tried many other options. I had nothing to lose and an open mind. Gemma made me feel extremely comfortable.” 😊

By Gemma Bailey

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Getting the Well-being Balance Back with NLP and Hypnotherapy

The Encarta® World English Dictionary defines well-being as: Supporting good health in a manner that encourages health and physical well-being (often used together). Good health or luck: a good, healthy, or comfortable condition.

However, another definition states: A good or satisfactory condition of existence; a state characterised by health, happiness, and prosperity; welfare: to influence the well-being of the nation and its people.

The second definition presents well-being as a combination of health, happiness, and prosperity rather than focusing on just one element. I believe this perspective offers a more accurate representation of true well-being. By evaluating different areas of our lives, perhaps through a coaching tool like the Wheel of Life, it becomes clear how interconnected these aspects are. For instance, financial stress can lead to health issues, while strong relationships can enhance our patience and tolerance in the workplace. True well-being flourishes when there is balance across all facets of our lives.

This is where Hypnotherapy, NLP, and therapy can play a vital role. Whether you’re based in North London, Hertfordshire, St Albans, Hemel Hempstead, or prefer sessions online on Zoom, these powerful approaches can help restore balance and clarity to all areas of life 🌿✨.

An interesting point about these definitions is their use of terms like “good” or “satisfactory” rather than more extravagant words such as “excellent” or “amazing.” It is vital for individuals to have dreams and goals, no matter how you label them. This is especially important for men, who often have abundant, intense energy (unlike the gentler, nurturing energy frequently associated with women). It is crucial to channel this energy into setting and achieving goals. Without them, a man may lose direction in life.

That said, it’s equally important to maintain realistic expectations. If you believe that every moment must be extraordinary to feel fulfilled, you may struggle to satisfy your well-being needs. Similarly, if you wait to experience well-being only after reaching your goals, you’ll spend significant time missing out on that feeling while working towards them. Why not embrace a sense of well-being as you pursue your ambitions? By setting more attainable expectations for feeling good, you can enhance your overall sense of well-being. Does this mean you should stop dreaming big? Absolutely not! Dream big, but take time daily to appreciate and find joy in the small victories 🌈.

For example:

Finances – An enormous goal could be to earn £100,000 in six months, but if you can feel prosperous by finding £1.00 down the back of the sofa, you’ll tap into feelings of prosperity more easily.

Health and Fitness – An enormous goal could be to lose three stone in eight months, but if you can feel the same sense of achievement with each pound you lose, you’ll be more motivated to continue working towards your goal.

Personal Relationships, A big goal could be getting married, but a more straightforward expectation that can make you feel good more quickly could be feeling connected to your partner during a date.

Spirituality – An enormous goal could be to achieve total spiritual enlightenment. Still, if you can feel spiritual even while your questions about life and the universe remain unanswered, you can always feel spiritual.

Personal Development – An enormous goal could be attending a £5,000 training course, but if you feel you’re developing yourself while reading a good book (like this one), you can grow much more quickly.

Fun, A big goal could be to have a certain number of holidays each year, but you can also have fun spending lunchtime with friends if you intend to enjoy the moment.

Career – Striving for a significant achievement like a promotion is great, but don’t forget that boosting your well-being can be as simple as recognising a colleague’s hard work and making them feel appreciated.

Family – While aiming for a harmonious household is a significant goal, finding immediate joy could be as simple as taking a weekend stroll with your family.

It’s important to have challenges in life for personal growth, but it’s equally important to simplify things. Some people make life more complicated than it needs to be, but I disagree with that approach. Making life easier can lead to a greater sense of well-being and attract more success.

If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or off-balance, therapy, Hypnotherapy, and NLP can help you gain insight, clear mental clutter, and restore a sense of calm. These services are available in St Albans, Hemel Hempstead, North London, and across the globe via Zoom 🧠💬.

By Gemma Bailey

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Team Work

There’s that saying that ‘there’s no ‘I’ in team’ There is, however, a ‘me’ in team and that’s relevant because it’s important that you’re thinking about everyone and not just about yourself.

Consider how you show up within your team – when you do you’ll actually make that teamwork a lot better. Knowing your role, your contribution and your motivations within your team is incredibly important. NLP can be very valuable to companies to create cohesion within your working teams.

As a team, you can make stuff happen faster, more powerfully and more magically than you can on your own. Most people are aware of the cheesy team acronym: Together Everyone Achieves More. Well, it’s true. Think about the speed at which a simple task can be completed if there are more hands-on-deck suddenly putting IKEA furniture together isn’t as daunting as it was when you had to do it on your own. Your team could be the people you work with. It could be a group of friends or even your family. The challenge though is getting your team to understand exactly what functions, behaviours and acts you want them to do that fits in with the goal you have in mind.

The problem is exactly as the sentence states. The ideas are in your mind and somehow you need to transfer them into the minds of your team members without losing any of the details as you do it. People have different preferences for what might otherwise be thought of as the same experience as yours.

For example, if I say to you ‘red’ you might think of a deep red, like the one from your old school uniform, perhaps. If I said it to someone else they might think of a pinky red because that’s their favourite shade of that colour. Other people might imagine a rainbow and see a multitude of different colours as well as the red.

In addition, people’s state affects the way in which they hear directions. If you’ve ever been in a rush to get somewhere and got lost at the same time, you know what I mean, you can ask for all the clues in the world about where you’re going but if you’re in a panic, you’ll miss the signs that show you the way. It’s the same when you’re directing a team. If someone’s in a bad state because of a misunderstanding with you with another team member or simply because they stubbed their toe that morning, you may find that they hear information differently to the way that you intended them to.

If someone has spent the day thinking “My partner is too demanding and expects me to do all the chores” and then you innocently ask them if they’d mind making you a cup of coffee whilst you are busy on the phone, they made categorise your behaviour as the same as the behaviour of their partner that upset them earlier.

It’s important to know and understand your team so that you can ensure you have a clear insight into the certain behaviours that they do, which are giving you clues about their emotional state.

It is important to understand the motivations of your team. Let’s say for example that you have a report that needs completing by 6 pm on Thursday and that you’ve given it to a team member who is more than capable of being able to achieve that. Let’s also say that the team member has overspent on their credit card a little bit and they need some overtime. In an ideal world, the team member is very aware of the importance of that document being needed by 6 pm on Thursday and has spoken to the boss about being able to get some overtime at some stage to raise the extra cash they need.

In an ideal world, the boss has been very clear about the document deadline and is considering other tasks that could be worked on as a way to give that over time that’s needed. Without this communication though, the boss and the team member might have motivations that are not in alignment with each other. The team member could slow down their production with a plan to complete the report during the overtime they’ve been given.

Understanding the motivations of your team and making your motivations clear to your team can ensure that you’re all working towards the same common goal and that what you all value from one mission to the next is in alignment with each other. Using NLP training for your staff is a great way to get everyone working in a synchronised way and to elevate the productivity of your employees.

By Gemma Bailey

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Take Control of Bad Habits and Magical Hypnosis

The topic today is all about stopping those compulsions and taking control of feeling better, about giving up those bad habits and this is in response to an e-mail from someone who sent in a great big list of things and so this is one of those things off of that list.

So, I am not going to cover any specific N.L.P. techniques with this today or any specific hypnosis techniques but I am going to give you a brief idea of what those could be and also some more general stuff and kind of low-level stuff for actually sorting these sorts of problems out. The thing with stuff like habits and compulsions is that if you view this as a problem that is bigger than you, are more powerful than you, then it probably will be. But if you know that this is just something that is going to get sorted and you’re going to be able to sort it easily, then guess what you’re going to have a whole different ride.

Now here’s a suggestion for you if you are having some problems with these habits and compulsions and you’re on the verge of doing the thing that you don’t want to do. You’re on the verge of reaching for that cigarette. You’re on the verge of putting that fingernail in your mouth or whatever it might be, I want you to give yourself some time out. So, you know like you do with your kids when the kids are misbehaving and you need to separate them and you say right timeout. Go sit yourself on the naughty step. I want you to stay there for five minutes and I want you to have a think about the way that you’re behaving and when you’ve come to the right conclusions about your behaviour and you’ve decided how you’re going to behave better, I want you to come back and tell me that you’re sorry and tell me what you’re going to do even better next time. Stay there until you’ve made your mind up. So, we do this for our kids right. Now here’s the thing sometimes you need to do that for yourself.

Sometimes you need to give yourself a bit of time out before you go and do something silly. So that silly thing could be smoking the cigarette but you really, really you don’t want to smoke because you don’t want to smoke anymore. Now I’m not saying you have to go and sit yourself on the naughty step and give yourself a telling off, but you can have a word with yourself every now and again. You can sit there and think to yourself: okay, so how am I behaving. What do I really want and how can I now make the right decision about the right way to behave better? You can do that to yourself and when you’ve given yourself that little bit of a talking to, you’ll probably find that you come up with a much better reaction than the automatic one of just going ahead and doing it anyway. Give yourself some time out sometimes.

Now Tony Robbins says that in order to give ourselves leverage to move away from a problem we need to apply massive immediate pain to that problem and something like power and pleasure to the solution.

So, I want you to think about what pain you can add to the thing that you don’t want, to that habit or compulsion that you don’t want to have. It could be ‘this thing makes me unhealthy, it’s making me unattractive. I don’t actually like it. It’s slowing me down. It’s making me feel old’.

All of those things are going to be applying pain to the thing that you no longer want to do. Now when we look at pleasure you can be thinking: ‘well when I’ve done this or now that I am doing it, I am in control of my life. I’m feeling like more of an achiever. I’m feeling fitter and I’m going to look better’. So, think about the language that you’re using in implying pain to this problem and also then applying pleasure to the fact that you’ve moved on from it and that you’re going to do something different in the future.

So, if we look at particular N.L.P. techniques. Things like the swish pattern can be useful here. Things like Belief change. Compulsion blowouts, a horrible exercise that usually results in somebody throwing up and hypnosis is also particularly useful. It depends on what the problem is and who you’re working with as to which one of those techniques you might feel is most appropriate.

The most important thing I personally feel, the thing that can really create the tipping point on this is your own internal dialogue. Your own language, so depending on where you are at in terms of making the change, might depend on how you’re using your language. Now affirmations are very, very useful and very, very effective. It’s important though to use these affirmations correctly. So let me give you some ideas of the sorts of things that people might be affirming to themselves and how this might be useful or not so useful for them. So, let’s go with our smoking person. If they’re saying to themselves, I’m going to give up smoking. I’m going to give up smoking. What that statement tells us is that it’s something that’s going to happen in the future so they have not yet done it. And that also there’s this element of necessity. Okay, so it’s kind of essential that they do it, but they still haven’t done it yet.

Now, remember as well, every time we say the words smoking, even if it’s stop smoking, quit smoking, refrain from smoking, where is the focus going to be? Focus is going to be on smoking, isn’t it? So, it’s worthwhile remembering that. It’s probably not the best thing to affirm to yourself because if you’re doing that, you’re still bringing your attention back to smoking, even if you’re talking about not doing it.

So how about this one ‘I want to stop smoking’. Now this one again is in the future. They still haven’t done it yet and it’s more possibility than that necessity. It doesn’t have that sort of commitment sound to it does it? If we compare ‘I’m going to stop smoking’, there’s an element of certainty there, whereas if we have ‘I want to stop smoking’. It’s a bit like I want to but I might not. How about this one: ‘I will stop smoking’. Again, this one is in the future, it’s more essential, there’s more necessary to it, but the fact is they might stop smoking one day but that one day might be when they’re dead.

‘I will stop smoking’ – well when? Today, next week, next month, next year? So, it’s not as committal as we would really want to hear. ‘I’m trying to stop smoking’. That’s just the worst one, isn’t it. It’s in the present, which I guess is good, but the word ‘try’ don’t even get me started. If you want to know about the word ‘try’, listen to the previous podcast. Listen to the experiment on there and see if it works on you. Try is not essential. It’s definitely not committed. Okay how about this one: ‘I have stopped smoking’. Again, so this one is in the present ‘I have stopped smoking’. It implies that smoking did occur in the past but the word have has an element of possibility about it. So we could say there is still that option to smoke again in the future but I would say it’s certainly better than any of the others that we’ve said so far.

‘I do not smoke now and I will not smoke again’. Now this one is in the present. It implies permanence for the future even though there is a reference that smoking did occur in the past. This one sounds very definite doesn’t it? ‘I do not smoke now and I will not smoke again’. If somebody said that to you would be much more likely to believe them than any of the others that we’ve spoken about before.

So how about this one. ‘I’m going for a jog’. Now you’re probably wondering why that has nothing to do with it. Well really that’s my point because for this person smoking is not even in their focus. It’s not on their radar. It doesn’t exist in their universe. Their focus is nowhere near smoking so really who stands the best possible chance? Definitely the jogger and the fact that there jogging probably tells us that there are a whole lot fitter than the smokers are anyway.

Right so I hope that helps you out with regards to the compulsions and habits. There’s so much within that particular niche. There’s so many different ways of dealing with those problems but that’s a good thing because it means there’s lots and lots of different ways to move forward and there’s certainly something for everyone.

By Gemma Bailey

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Getting A Good Night Sleep – Part 1


People Building produce Hypnosis MP3s which you can purchase from their website or from iTunes. There are Hypnotherapy audios available for those who want to get better at getting to sleep at night.

Here are some other useful things for you to think about: You must have some sort of bedtime routine. This is important because it gets your body into a habit of knowing what to expect next, so if you have a bath before you go to bed that’s a great way to relax and that lets your body know it’s wind-down time and of course in order for your brain to switch off and allow you to go to sleep, first of all your body has to relax. It’s kind of the same in hypnosis – in that your body relaxes first and then the mind can follow.

And let’s face it, the two things are not that dissimilar. We know for example that the word hypnosis comes from the Greek word Hypnos which means sleep. It’s a great misconception to think that hypnosis is sleep, they’re not the same. There’s different levels of brain activity that occurs between sleep and being in hypnosis.

Hypnosis would be a lighter version of sleep, even though they’re on the same kind of sliding scale. When we do professional hypnotherapy training for those who wish to become a hypnotherapist, we have what we call a sleep curve to demonstrate this. The top of that sleep curve is ‘Beta’, which is your usual awakened bright and lovely state. Then there’s ‘Alpha’ state. Now a lot of us spend most of our time there as well because we’re floating in and out of daydreaming and imagining and watching TV and being in a light trance when doing things like that.

And then we move into ‘Theta’ and this is where we start to move into the sleep side of things. This is when we drift into a light to medium level of sleep. At the very lower level is ‘Delta’ and Delta is your deep, dreamless relaxing sleep.

Delta is the kind of sleep that you have when you get into bed and go to sleep then wake up and it feels like only three minutes has passed by, even though you might have been there for hours. Your body is in exactly the same position and you had not moved at all. In theta state it would tend to be are more of a rapid eye movement kind of a sleep – so a dream sleep. A sleep where you’re asleep but your mind is still busy filing things and sorting information out and if anyone were to watch you they might see you moving around a little bit in that sleep. Your eyes moving under your lids and your body being perhaps a little bit twitchy.

It’s no good coming home from a busy day and trying to jump straight into bed. You need to have that little bit of wind down time first.

There are obvious considerations such as not eating too late, not drinking too late, avoiding caffeine and avoiding alcohol. All those things will affect your sleep quality. So, if you’re having issues with sleep at the moment whether it’s ‘I can’t get to sleep at night’ or whether it’s ‘I get to sleep at night but I wake up a couple of hours later and can’t get back to sleep’, really have to think about those things and what it is you know the quality of the stuff that you’re eating during the day.

 

By Gemma Bailey
www.hypnotherapyandnlp.co.uk