Tag Archives: Hypnotherapy

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

PTSD usually occurs after a person has been exposed to a situation which threatens great physical danger or when physical harm occurs to themselves or to another.

Those with PTSD may exhibit a variety of symptoms. Some become very detached and “numb” losing interest in their old way of life and the people they used to be close to, becoming aggressive, violent or no longer affectionate, whilst others may be very jumpy and sensitive.

Particular triggers such as sounds/smells/images/feelings associated with the event may create an emotional response. Quite often those with PTSD also experience flashbacks. This is a spontaneous repeat of the memory of the event that may be triggered by the sounds/smells etc associated with the event or the flashbacks may also occur as dreams when sleeping. Often thoughts of the event will then continue to occur throughout the day. Other anxiety disorders such as depression are often associated with PTSD.

It can be useful to establish how the person is representing the flashbacks and memories of the event to themselves in their mind. Those who are experiencing a great deal of emotional pain from the incident will usually replay the memory fully associated- seeing it through their own eyes as if they were there. Those who see the memories and flashbacks dissociated (as if they are watching themselves in the event), usually have a lesser degree of pain from the event when they remember it in the now.

Techniques such as the NLP fast phobia cure can be used to help the brain interrupt the experience normally associated with the memory and gives the opportunity for the mind to re-code the event so that the incident is altered and desensitized. EFT has also proved to be effective in treating PTSD as it realigns the body’s natural energy systems. Using eye movement patterns in addition to tapping also gives the brain an added opportunity to desensitize and reprogram old memories.

By Gemma Bailey
www.hypnotherapyandnlp.co.uk 

 

Your Self-Esteem Explained!

Morris Rosenberg states that self-esteem is formulated in 3 ways (1) reflected appraisals, (2) social comparison, (3) self-attribution.

The reflected appraisal comes from Mead and Cooley’s idea that if others respect us and look up to us in some way, we are likely to have higher self-esteem than if they are degrading us.

‘Social comparison’ is the process by which we compare ourselves to others in either a positive, neutral or negative way. Poor children (as a generalisation) will often do less well at school than their wealthier classmates as the comparison of lifestyles may develop negative self-esteem, making it less likely that the poorer child will perform well in school and the low level of achievement will then further damage the self-esteem (see below).

Self-attribution is when there is a failure to observe the internal psychological processes and instead, form an opinion of the self-based on external behaviours or reactions. Bem gives us the example that a man who eats an enormous dinner could conclude “I guess I was hungrier than I thought” making a conclusion about his external experience in seeing the empty plate instead of getting in touch with his internal feelings whilst eating or after finishing the food to establish if he was full up earlier or is now feeling overfilled. Therefore a child whose teacher tells them “You’re not very good at concentrating.” Could conclude that this outside information is the truth about their ability to concentrate and develop low self-esteem, instead of challenging the statement internally (“When am I good at concentrating? What do I concentrate really well at? Am I concentrating now?) and using his own internal conclusions to improve the self-esteem and the level of concentration.

By far the most reliable means of improving one’s own self-esteem is to find it from within, as relying on an outside source to verify your identity can be at times unreliable. If your self-esteem comes from knowing that you are a good daughter to your parents, what will happen to that self-esteem when those parents pass away? Or if your self-esteem is verified by knowing that you are good at your job, do you then lose your self-esteem if you lose your job?

If we must compare ourselves to others, then surely looking at what others have and what we do not, is best serving us if that helps us to establish new goals for the future to help us achieve that which others have. Comparing ourselves to those who have less than us should encourage us to feel thankful and to develop a more grateful attitude for what we have already.

The idea of challenging the labels we are given (or give to ourselves) is not a new one. All NLP techniques are really based on the idea of reframing a problem (that is “seeing it in a different and more resourceful way).

Psychologist, Dr Clare Graves said “It’s not that you get rid of problems. You evolve into a person who the problem doesn’t matter to.” This implies that overcoming a problem is simply a case of changing the way in which you think about that problem or seeing yourself in a more resourceful way. Using the techniques of NLP this change in thinking can be created at the unconscious automatic level. When a person believes that they can be and do more, they tend to feel better about themselves and therefore have a better experience in life. They achieve greater results which propel their self-esteem to an even greater level.

 

By Gemma Bailey
www.hypnotherapyandnlp.co.uk 

Knowing Your Limit!

One of the biggest challenges that can occur with those who take cocaine whilst drinking alcohol is having the willpower to stop, instead of ending up on a “bender” which ultimately results in a horrible hangover the next day.

The challenge with deciding to call it a night before things get out of hand, is that one is probably not in a state to make a sensible, rational decision about what happens next due to the substances already consumed.

Further challenges around knowing when to stop include:

  • Being with others who are in the party spirit adds pressure to continue
  • Knowing that you still have money in the bank and have the funds to continue
  • Not pausing to think for a moment about the implications of continuing
  • A caring host who keeps topping up your glass/offering you other party options.

If you’re aware that you incline to start drinking and continue onto cocaine, you must learn how to plan your evening out in advance of going. You will likely be unsuccessful at relying upon your judgement later.

The planning required will involve hypnotherapy, NLP and some practical steps to ensure that you can continue to involve yourself socially with alcohol, but to a limit, you decide upon whilst sober.

How the Hypnotherapy and NLP Clinic in Hertfordshire can help:

Hypnotherapy accesses the unconscious part of your mind where your habits and behaviours are installed. Your hypnotherapist will give suggestions to you whilst in a relaxed trance-like state to help build your resilience and confidence to stop drinking when you instinctively know you have had enough.

Remember, these substances are poisons. Your body and unconscious serve to protect you from harm and you, therefore, have a built-in system which knows when you’ve had enough. However, for many, that system is overridden or ignored because of the effects of the substances. Your hypnotherapist will be able to “reset the system” to allow you to become more finely tuned to the “that’s enough, time to go home” signal so that you begin to adhere to your natural tolerance levels.

NLP can help build motivation and commitment to your new decision and enable you to set realistic parameters for your behaviour. For example, if you know that peer pressure is an issue for you, NLP can help you to build a strong sense of reliance and the ability to “stick to your guns” about your decision.

You can also work with your therapist to establish any practical steps you can take. Perhaps you can change your drink of choice or alternate between a soft drink and an alcoholic one, or use a Revolut card (Join me and over 18 million users who love Revolut. Sign up with my link below: https://revolut.com/referral/gemma3qa2!JUL2-22-AR) instead of your bank card so that you stop when the money on the account runs out. (If the issue occurs when you’re drinking at home, it might help to have a glass of water with an alcoholic beverage.)

Even simple exercises such as remembering how bad a hangover felt before you allow yourself to become fully indulged in the party spirit can be helpful.

 

By Gemma Bailey
www.hypnotherapyandnlp.co.uk 

Boost Your Creativity

The Encarta dictionary defines creativity as “the ability to use the imagination to develop new and original ideas or things, especially in an artistic context.”

Creativity and imagination are largely linked with right brain functions, whereas analytic and rationalised thinking is more associated with the left brain.

As individuals, we may tend to be more inclined to naturally use one side of the brain more than the other, which would define the ability we have to tap into our creative talents. Of course, there are influences in our lives as we grow up, that are responsible for either nurturing or stifling our creativity. For example, most of our schooling tends to focus much more on learning via the left brain, encouraging logical and objective learning, as opposed to holistic experiential learning which is related to the right brain.

Creating can lead to a deep sense of satisfaction and there are many different ways that people can express creativity. The common factors tend to be that a great feeling of compulsion to do something. Then throughout the process of doing it, a connection with oneself, or even a feeling of motivation or trance-like experience. If the person remains motivated to continue their project until completion, they will feel a great sense of pride once the process is successfully completed. Just imagine if it was a requirement of your job to feel this good every day! In fact, those who set up their own business often do so as an extension of a hobby or creative process that they already enjoy.

If you are not a natural creator, how can you develop this skill to create more wholeness and inspiration?

Here are some tips:

1. Have a few sessions of Life Coaching to help uncover the things you value most in your life and begin shaping your dreams. Motivational techniques can also be applied if a sense of uncertainty prevents you from taking the steps you need to make.

2. Listen to music that makes you feel good and switch off the news! Often the news is depressing and can put you in a bad state.

3. Make lots of notes. You never know when those good ideas will sneak up on you and if you don’t jot them down, they may be forgotten.

4. Get inspired. Look at other people’s creative work, either in the field you are interested in, or just in the natural environment around you.

5. Do some brainstorming around your chosen idea. This will move it from pie in the sky to the specific steps you will need to make.

6. Read books. Books are great for expanding ideas and are “healthier” for your brain than watching the telly all the darn time!

7. Keep your brain fit by doing crosswords, and quizzes and participating in creative and intelligent conversations.

8. Be healthy in your body. Your mind and your body are linked so you need to look after both. Feed them healthy food and exercise them both.

9. Write a list of how you will feel and how your life will be affected by expressing your creativity. What will it mean to you?

10. When you get an idea, do something about it, before someone else beats you to it!

“Thank you all so much, this has made a positive change in my life.”

 

By Gemma Bailey
www.hypnotherapyandnlp.co.uk 

Hypnotherapy for Stress Relief in Hertfordshire

I have seen the benefits of hypnotherapy in helping adults to manage their stress and improve their overall well-being.

Stress is a common issue among adults, and it can have a significant impact on their mental and physical health. Adults who are struggling with stress may experience a range of symptoms, including anxiety, depression, insomnia, and physical health issues. While there are many traditional treatments available for stress, hypnotherapy can provide a unique and effective approach to managing stress.

Hypnotherapy involves using hypnosis to help a person enter a state of deep relaxation. During this state, the hypnotherapist can guide the person to explore their thoughts and emotions in a safe and supportive environment. By using hypnotherapy, adults can learn how to manage their stress and improve their overall well-being.

In Hertfordshire, there are many resources available for adults who are struggling with stress, including counselling services, support groups, and educational programs. However, hypnotherapy can provide a complementary approach to traditional treatment methods and can be particularly helpful for adults who have not found relief through traditional methods.

One of the most effective hypnotherapy techniques for relieving stress is progressive relaxation. Progressive relaxation involves tensing and releasing each muscle group in the body, in order to create a deep state of relaxation. By using this technique, adults can learn how to relax their body and mind, reducing the physical and emotional symptoms of stress.

Another hypnotherapy technique that can be helpful for relieving stress is visualization. Visualization involves using the imagination to create a peaceful and calming mental image. By visualizing a peaceful scene, adults can learn how to manage their stress and reduce feelings of anxiety and tension.

It is important to note that hypnotherapy should not be used as a substitute for traditional therapy or medication. However, it can be a valuable tool for adults who are struggling with stress and can provide a complementary approach to traditional treatment methods.

In Hertfordshire, there are many resources available for adults who are struggling with stress and their families. These include counselling services, support groups, and educational programs. By seeking help and support, adults with stress can learn how to manage their symptoms and improve their overall well-being.

In conclusion, hypnotherapy can be a powerful tool for helping adults to relieve stress in Hertfordshire. By using techniques such as progressive relaxation and visualization, adults can learn how to manage their stress and improve their overall well-being. While hypnotherapy should not be used as a substitute for traditional therapy or medication, it can provide a valuable and complementary approach to managing stress in adults. If you or someone you know is struggling with stress, don’t hesitate to seek help and support.

Headaches and Migraines

I started having migraines when I was about 7 years old and found them a very scary experience. There is something quite frightening about experiencing that degree of pain in the part of the body where the brain is stored!

Luckily, my migraines would disappear after I had vomited, and gone to sleep – painkillers wouldn’t touch them at all. I was also fortunate to not experience distorted vision (sometimes called a warning aura) or prolonged nausea or the kind of migraines that last for several days.

I recently experienced a headache after visiting a friend who lives around 45 miles from my home. On the way back, the oncoming headlights of the cars began to irritate me, and I sensed that my headache was going to develop into a migraine. I knew that if I allowed that to happen I would certainly be stuck a long way from home, so I made the decision to stop at a service station, park my car and lay in a hypnotic trance in the back seat for about 20 minutes. Hey presto, 20 minutes later I was fit to continue my journey.

The reason why migraines occur is largely to do with chemicals within the body. Your body is like a laboratory, and the chemical within it have an impact on your physical body. When a person has a migraine, there is a change in the serotonin levels in the body (it drops) and this causes the blood vessels to swell. It is the swelling that causes the pain.

People experience migraines for different reasons, emotional stress or tiredness are often factors, some foods may also be a trigger, or in my example above bright lights were a factor and loud noises can be too. Going without food can cause a migraine. to start, menstruation or even changes in the weather!

Hypnosis is a wonderful way to escape from the pain of migraine for several reasons. Firstly the trance can be laced with suggestions for controlling and lowering the level of pain experienced. The simple relaxation is also hugely beneficial- if the migraine. was not caused by stress, you can expect that after the onset of the pain there is definitely going to be some stress and relief that can only be a good thing. For reoccurring migraines, suggestions can be given to help the patient become more aware of the subtle warning signs that a headache or migraine. is on the way. Then self-hypnosis or relaxation can be used to prevent the symptoms from increasing.

“I feel so much better. Thank you so much, Gemma!”

By Gemma Bailey
www.hypnotherapyandnlp.co.uk 

Stop Evening Drinking Habits

For some people, the ultimate downtime after a long day’s work is a glass of wine. It helps unravel those tightened muscles, softens the thoughts in the mind and eases any prickly emotions from the day. It’s an accessible and legal way to unwind. More than that, it creates finality between the day you had just had and the fact that it is over. That you are in a different space, mentally emotionally and physically.

However, sometimes, the need to drink alcohol after a long day’s work becomes a habitual process that can quickly spiral out of control, or into some form of dependency.

Drinking Habits and Alcohol.

Of course, many people manage to have just a glass or two of wine or a small beer and they may choose to have alcohol one day and not the next. Some people find the same sense of release in meditation, yoga or hypnotherapy.

If it is manageable and within a healthy level then there appears to be little risk or concern. The point, at which someone might consider getting help, is the point at which they begin to feel that they no longer have a choice in the matter.

Of course, there is always a choice, because you are always in command of your own thoughts and your own actions. But when someone has a craving, the sensation and emotions related to that come from deep within the unconscious mind. Your unconscious is the domain of your emotions and unless you have amazing willpower, it can be a tricky business to do battle with your unconscious. It’s incredibly powerful and it’s also where the changes to habits, cravings and emotions need to take place.

Hypnotherapy and NLP in Hertfordshire.

Access to the unconscious to make these changes (such as to drinking habits) isn’t something that many can do instantly just by deciding to. The reason is that your conscious mind is often “in the way” of your unconscious mind. It is there to stand guard to make sure that you do not process any old suggestion and take it on board. This is why having a trustworthy hypnotherapist, such as a practitioner from the Hypnotherapy and NLP Clinic in Hertfordshire, who is trained to access those guarded areas of your mind is so important and beneficial.

If you had a conversation with someone and they said “Well just stop doing it” that conscious logical part of your mind that has already decided that drinking every night is a bad idea, responds by thinking “Well if it were that easy I’d have sorted it out myself already!”

Deciding it, knowing what is right and wanting to do something better for your health and your life are all well and good, but it might not be enough to actually make you stop.

The first step is remembering you have a choice. No one makes you go to the fridge, pull back the ring pull, unleash the cork or any of those things. Only you decide that, and you can decide something else. Distraction can work incredibly well sometimes. When you really engage your brain in other things you lose time and you lose awareness of all the other things that you could have been doing instead (such as drinking). You only need to repeat this process a few times to break the habit completely.

It’s worth remembering that if you do stop completely at doing some habitual thing, that thing, no matter what it is – even if it appears to be totally destructive, was meeting a need. Here’s an idea of some of the needs we have (these are emotional needs, not physical ones like food and water).

  • Significance
  • Certainty
  • Uncertainty
  • Love
  • Contribution
  • Growth

So although drinking alcohol has many negative effects, we can evaluate the emotional needs it may be meeting and recognise the reliability with which alcohol relaxes gives a sense of certainty. That the vulnerability and volatility that alcohol can provide might also simultaneously provide a sense of uncertainty. Some people can only connect with others after drinking and it may be their route to feeling significance and love.

Any drinking habit that fulfils 3 or more of the above-mentioned needs is addictive. It’s easy for people to become addicted to alcohol; not just because the substance in itself is addictive but so are the emotional needs that it meets.

If you are someone who needs to break their evening drinking habits, contact the hypnotherapy and NLP Clinic in Hertfordshire about how we can help.

By Gemma Bailey

www.HypnotherapyandNLP.co.uk

Addictions

 

Addictions

There once were many myths and misconceptions surrounding the reasons why addictions occur. Some believed that substances in themselves were not addictive, that it was the body’s chemical reaction to the substance to which the individual is addicted. This claim could certainly seem plausible when considering gambling or shopping addictions. There are no foreign chemicals entering the body, rather than the body is creating its own chemical reaction (dopamine/adrenalin) in response to the external stimulus of gambling or shopping, and it is the feeling that the individual is addicted to, not the actual act itself.

It is also understandable that when one introduces chemicals to the body, chemical reactions occur. Some of these reactions stimulate reward centres within the brain which are triggered when a person exercises, falls in love or is praised or acknowledged.

Sometimes an addiction occurs when a person uses drugs, cigarettes, alcohol or even food, to alleviate stress and worry. In order to successfully treat these types of addictions, the person must focus on increasing their levels of self-esteem so that they are able to create good feelings about themselves without any need to have the feelings triggered by an external stimulus.

It is difficult to predict if one person is more likely to suffer from addiction than the next. Again, claims have been made that some suffer from an addictive personality. It is also wise to consider the social circumstances of addicts. For example, if your parents smoked, you are more likely to be a smoker – this may be because you see the behaviour as socially acceptable or because you have a genetic predisposition or both. If your friend takes drugs, you are likely to be influenced by them. There are of course other factors. If a person is lacking in a structured life or has experienced an over-structured life, drugs can be a form of escape and detachment from a life which is perhaps, not entirely fulfilling.

Often, an addiction will increase in severity over time. This is because the body becomes regulated and used to the addictive chemical being in the body. To achieve the same level of stimulation, more of the addictive chemical is needed in the body. Many addictions can cause serious health, social, physical and mental problems and when addictive substances are increased in a non-regulated environment, the consequences can be devastating.

Fortunately, changes can be made. Addicts do not necessarily need to be addicts for the rest of their lives. If the addict is willing and motivated to change, there are ways of easing and in some cases removing completely, the side effects when withdrawing from an addictive substance.

NLP can be used to help the client understand new perspectives about how the addiction has impacted on their lives. Techniques can be used to desensitise any negative associations from the past, and positive triggers can be installed for use when the cravings would normally occur.

Hypnosis can be used to remove habits and create changes in the subconscious, the part of the mind responsible for creating and maintaining habits. Post hypnotic suggestions can be used to associate powerful negative feelings to the addictive act or substance so that these powerful negative feelings are experienced in the future if ever the patient considers interacting with the addictive substance or acting again.

By Gemma Bailey
www.hypnotherapyandnlp.co.uk 

 

Resilience

I think a lot of people think resilience is your ability to stay strong in the face of uncertainty or in difficult circumstances. For me, resilience is how quickly and easily you get back up once you’ve been pushed down. When I think about resilience in the context of my own experiences in life, resilience had come about from having some quite negative things happening in my life previously. I have learnt how to survive and come out the other end and I have learnt how to cope with certain situations through developing methods and coping strategies. When things get tough I now know how to deal with it better through previous hardships and how I proceed in a more positive direction.   

Therefore, speaking of things that may contribute towards becoming a resilient person here’s what I think you need: I think you need confidence because if you lack confidence then you’re going to find it very difficult to put into action and employ any sorts of strategies. You might feel like hiding under the duvet and that is not going to be the ideal solution. You need to have enough confidence to get out there and face the world. You’ve got to have the confidence there in the first place to be able to push through difficulty. You also need hope! Hope is super important. You need to believe that you have something worth fighting for so that you don’t get completely overwhelmed by the negative experiences that happen in life. You’ve got to hope that you’ll be okay and you’ve got to have hope that things will turn out all right in the end. 

Overall, I would say you’ve got to just have a quite positive state of mind because the more positive you are the easier it is for you to be creative and resourceful and to think about alternative ways of reframing your circumstances. The more easier it is for you to problem-solve your way through a situation. 

What’s important in developing resilience is not being shy about putting yourself in situations where you might get knocked down and not holding back from situations where you might get knocked back because those knockbacks are you developing a thick skin which will help you to become more resilient and emotionally more tougher. 

While I worked as a manager in a large private day nursery, there was a staff member called Charlotte. Charlotte’s social status was different from mine, I grew up on a council estate, I worked hard to get my diploma to be able to work with children. Charlotte came from a wealthy family and had been given some of the finer things in life which I had to work hard towards i.e first car was a new car and a deposit was put down on her house. I was her manager and I was grafting away to be able to afford my monthly car payments just to get myself to work. I felt resentful not just because of her social status but also because she had a good relationship with her parents.

One day I noticed that she had developed a skin condition called dermatitis. It was on both of our hands and it looked like her skin was falling off and it looked look pretty uncomfortable, to be honest and it was stress related. It took me a while to reframe the beliefs that I was carrying around “she’s got it easier than I have and it’s not fair and I wish I had it that easy”. What I realised was something that for me might be by comparison to all the other stuff quite a low-level problem, for her, it was really significant because it seemed like she’d missed out on the benefits of having tough stuff happen in life. From having tough things happen in your life, you can learn so much and build up your resilience through time and experiences.

When going through tough times, you might feel that the best thing in the world is if you had no problems but if you are a person who can see a silver lining then you can really start to enjoy life a lot more and get a lot more benefits from living it even when it’s really difficult.

 

By Gemma Bailey
www.hypnotherapyandnlp.co.uk 

Doing the Right Thing for Others!

My sister has special needs and doesn’t have any form of communication. Doing the right thing for her relies on me thinking of my sister’s needs, wants and preferences and making a decision. Like my sister’s situation, we can all be put in a situation where we are winging it a little bit by making decisions for others and then finding we need to justify it. It can get a little bit daunting when you are thinking about what is the right thing to do for someone else.

In my work at NLP4Kids, we quite often work with safeguarding issues. In a safeguarding situation, we have to take the best interests of the child into account primarily. It’s challenging at times to not get tangled up in the story of what’s happening with the parents or the story of their history or where they are now or where they might be going too. It makes it really difficult at times to know what doing the right thing looks like in a safeguarding case. One of the things that are used as a benchmark for considering how someone might behave in the future is to look at their past behaviours. The best indicator of how someone might behave and react in the future is to think about how they behaved and reacted in the past.

For example, in criminal psychology, the best indicators for how someone might behave once they leave prison is going to be based on what they did before they went to prison or how they were behaving whilst they were in prison. This will give us an idea of what’s going to happen when they get back out there in society. This helps to put the safeguards in place to hopefully help them to avoid doing the thing that got them into prison in the first place. When it comes to doing the right thing and knowing what’s right for somebody else, we’re trying to predict the future and think about the effect that it will have on them and the people around them.

If a hundred years from now there is another global pandemic, you’re going to be looking back at the C-19 pandemic to see how might people react and how we need to manage the situation. In addition, we might find that years from now, society has changed so significantly that actually what’s happening now isn’t the best indicator of what to do at that time. There might be other more recent events that would give a better indication as to how the population will react to being quarantined and locked down and all of those different experiences that we went through recently. 

If I want to know how someone’s going to react towards restrictions or solutions I make for them in order to know, how they’re going to react to that I need to look at their past behaviour. This doesn’t just apply to an individual it applies to entire populations –  if you want to know how a group or a community is going to respond to certain sanctions that are put in place or even rewards that are put in place look back on their reactions and responses to previous sanctions and rewards that were put in place in the past and then you can decide ‘am I really doing the right thing for them or might this actually have quite a detrimental effect on them?’ Sometimes doing the right thing isn’t just about ecology it’s also about economics and what offers a wider or greater number of positive outcomes.

If you are making choices and decisions that affect other people they’re always going to do what they’re going to do and that’s not me saying that they can’t change, that’s me saying that you have limited control over the outcomes that exist for other people and that at times in doing the right thing, the only thing we can really do is to prepare for the worst while simultaneously hoping for the best possible outcome. 

 

By Gemma Bailey
www.hypnotherapyandnlp.co.uk