Tag Archives: hypnotherapy to stop drinking

Dealing with Anxiety in the Workplace

Anxiety is one of the biggest mental health and well-being challenges faced by adults. In a survey covering Great Britain, 1 in 6 adults had experienced some form of ‘neurotic health problem’ in the previous week. The most common neurotic disorders were anxiety and depressive disorders.

Since the majority of us spend the vast majority of our awakened adult life at work. It makes sense that anxiety will if not caused by the work itself begin at some point to affect it.

Anxiety happens when there is a sense of overwhelm or the idea that there are many things that need doing, and all of them need doing now (and often that they are all monumental tasks to do).

However, if anxiety is rehearsed enough – and by this, I mean that you simply are anxious on a regular basis, not that you are consciously deciding to deliberately be anxious that day – then it can easily become habitual. This means that the smallest of triggers can activate it and cause the anxiety to start feeling as if it has arisen without prompt or thought.

There are in fact only two types of anxiety. No matter how complex your anxiety maybe it is useful to remember that:

Anxious apprehension
Anxious arousal

Anxious apprehension, is verbal worrying. Talking to yourself, inside your mind in an anxious way. What is interesting about anxious apprehension is that when people’s brains have been scanned during an EEG, primarily, it’s the left brain that’s lighting up if someone is running anxious apprehension. When they’re having those anxious thoughts, it’s their left brain that gets illuminated and that’s because the front lobe of your left brain is associated with speech. That’s why self-talk comes into it.

The other kind of anxiety that we have is anxious arousal. This one relates more to anxious feelings like fear and panic. This kind of anxiety typically lights up the right brain. If we conduct an EEG brain scan on someone behaving fearfully or showing panic, it activates the temporal lobe which we associate with danger – and it sends the message that we need to avoid that danger.

If you have anxiety in the workplace, you can begin to unpick your anxiety by assessing how your anxiety works. There is a sequence of steps that you follow, which you probably do very quickly and have not been aware of until you begin to slow down the process and study them. To do this it may be easier and more effective to work with a Hertfordshire-based NLP Practitioner or Hypnotherapist who will be trained to help you have more awareness of your thoughts and actions.

For example, you may start the process of anxiety by making images in your mind of all of those tasks at work that cause you to feel overwhelmed. Or a picture of your boss’s face looking disappointed. It might be that you self-talk in a particularly panicked or aggressive way. You may be particularly good at tuning into your internal sensations and notice small flutters that are then distorted to be out-of-control stomach-churning worries.

The anxiety you experience could be caused by work itself, in which case a therapist can work with you to help you have better control of your emotions. This isn’t just to enable you to be more productive – it is important to increase your overall enjoyment of your time at work so that you do not keep putting your body through unnecessary stress.

As an NLP Practitioner in Hertfordshire, I often work with my clients in practical ways too. For example, it might be that there are changes to your routine or working habits that can alleviate the anxiety at work too.

By Gemma Bailey
www.HypnotherapyandNLP.co.uk

Defusing Anger in Relationships

Anger happens when, in some perceived way, we get a sense of a violation. A boundary that is crossed or a misalignment between someone else values compared to our own.

Sometimes these violations may be known to us – we may be aware of what angered us. At other times, the cause of the angry response may be outside of our conscious awareness. This is usually because the value that has been violated is a much deeper value. We tend to be aware of our surface values (such as trust for example) which makes it easy to spot why, when someone behaves in an untrustworthy way, we would take issue with it.

However, other values (for example significance) may be less conscious or may be values that we do not necessarily want to admit to having at such a high priority that should they be violated we would react with anger.

Some time ago, I was working with a woman who had come to see me at the NLP and Hypnotherapy Clinic in Hertfordshire. She had initially enquired about sessions of hypnotherapy, but as is often the case, we were able to resolve many of the challenges with anger in her relationship by way of NLP and CBT techniques instead.

The woman was frequently angry with her husband. They had at the start of their relationship been very loving towards each other but over the years she had come to resent him in some way and would fly off the handle very easily.

The husband would tolerate the snappy comments but every now and again, if she had been particularly provocative he would bite back and then a huge argument would begin.

Initially, I asked the woman about how her relationship was before the anger had crept in. Back then, she described her husband as a man who was always on the go. He seemed particularly energetic and had aspirations to start his own business. She felt that he was keen to impress her and that was where a great deal of his every had come from.

However, his plans to start his own business had gone out of the window, when they became pregnant with their first child. It seemed more sensible that he would take a promotion in his work instead.

Very soon their lives had transformed from an uncertain but adventurous future of starting their own business and carving out their lives together, to him going to work each day whilst she stayed at home looking after their child.

She became more dynamic as she ran the home and raised the child. He became exhausted by doing a job he did not enjoy. She began picking up the slack and doing more to make up for his lack of lust for life.

As this happened, unconsciously she began to think that his feeling toward her had changed. He no longer felt free and excited about the future and it appeared that the energised behaviour that he had previously had (which she had taken to mean he wanted to impress her) was gone. When she became more active and enthusiastic in her life he began to feel redundant in the dynamics of their relationship – as if he were no longer needed.

His response was to withdraw and hers was to attempt to jolt him into action with shocks of spikiness. Neither technique worked and this is why they both ended up getting so angry with each other.

Finding new and effective ways to respond to each other, change the balance in the relationship, show respect and appreciation and re-motivate each other was just one of the strategies we explore at the hypnotherapy Clinic. Finding out what you value most in your relationship and how those values may be getting violated is often the best way to diagnose the cause of anger in relationships and an NLP Practitioner would be able to help you to do this.

By Gemma Bailey
www.HypnotherapyandNLP.co.uk

I’m Not an Alcoholic

Defining addiction can be a tricky business. After all, we all have addictions that we allow to go unnoticed. Plenty of people are addicted to coffee, falling in love, and sugar and other random things have just been accepted as part of life.

We seem to have accepted too, that a glass of wine after a day’s work is perfectly alright too. Maybe for some that is two or three glasses, for others, it’s a bottle.

So at what point is that habit a problem?
At what stage of regular drinking do you have a drinking problem?
When does the label “alcoholic” apply?

For some, being an alcoholic means being drunk, almost daily, at unreasonable times of the day. But drinking a bottle of wine or two on a weekday evening is just the done thing. It has no bearing on alcoholism. Could they stop if they wanted to? Possibly, but perhaps only if there was a shake-up of their circumstance that changed their drinking routine.

So what are you if you are not a drunk-all-day-every-day alcoholic but you are a habitual drinker and it’s got a little out of hand?

You are an addict. At our hypnotherapy and NLP Clinic in Hertfordshire, we help people with all kinds of addiction to regain control.

Unless you can make a conscious decision to not drink any alcohol that day and stick to it, then you are addicted. If it would cause you problems, distress or discomfort to go without it, you are addicted and it’s important to break that cycle. Hypnotherapy works with the unconscious part of your mind which is much more powerful than the conscious and to achieve success in breaking a habit or addiction, you need to have an agreement in both parts of your mind.

Not only is alcohol damaging to your body when you have large quantities over long periods, but after a time the effects start to wear off, and you need more to get the same level of relaxation or whatever other escapism it allowed you to have.

In preparing to stop drinking, it’s important from a dependency perspective that you wean yourself off gradually rather than stopping altogether one day. People who participate in “Dry January” after a spell of drinking through the festive season often have some uncomfortable side effects because they are experiencing a come down too rapidly. It’s better to formulate a plan of phasing the alcohol out of your life gradually and in a realistic way than to knock it on the head overnight.

Think about what would happen when you give it up. It’s likely that you will sleep better, be sharper and brighter throughout the day and save your liver and kidneys in the future.

Then consider what would happen if you didn’t give it up. What the day-to-day implications would be and the long-term effects on your health.

Go back to the positive results of having achieved it and notice how much better that feels.

If you feel that you are influenced, either by your own tendency to sabotage your efforts or by others who will continue drinking, you may benefit from some help in stopping drinking alcohol. Hypnotherapy is both safe and effective for those who wish to stop drinking, whether you are an alcoholic or just have an unhealthy relationship with it.

By Gemma Bailey www.HypnotherapyandNLP.co.uk