Tag Archives: Life Coach

Getting the Well-being Balance Back with NLP and Hypnotherapy

The Encarta® World English Dictionary defines well-being as: Supporting good health in a manner that encourages health and physical well-being (often used together). Good health or luck: a good, healthy, or comfortable condition.

However, another definition states: A good or satisfactory condition of existence; a state characterised by health, happiness, and prosperity; welfare: to influence the well-being of the nation and its people.

The second definition presents well-being as a combination of health, happiness, and prosperity rather than focusing on just one element. I believe this perspective offers a more accurate representation of true well-being. By evaluating different areas of our lives, perhaps through a coaching tool like the Wheel of Life, it becomes clear how interconnected these aspects are. For instance, financial stress can lead to health issues, while strong relationships can enhance our patience and tolerance in the workplace. True well-being flourishes when there is balance across all facets of our lives.

This is where Hypnotherapy, NLP, and therapy can play a vital role. Whether you’re based in North London, Hertfordshire, St Albans, Hemel Hempstead, or prefer sessions online on Zoom, these powerful approaches can help restore balance and clarity to all areas of life 🌿✨.

An interesting point about these definitions is their use of terms like “good” or “satisfactory” rather than more extravagant words such as “excellent” or “amazing.” It is vital for individuals to have dreams and goals, no matter how you label them. This is especially important for men, who often have abundant, intense energy (unlike the gentler, nurturing energy frequently associated with women). It is crucial to channel this energy into setting and achieving goals. Without them, a man may lose direction in life.

That said, it’s equally important to maintain realistic expectations. If you believe that every moment must be extraordinary to feel fulfilled, you may struggle to satisfy your well-being needs. Similarly, if you wait to experience well-being only after reaching your goals, you’ll spend significant time missing out on that feeling while working towards them. Why not embrace a sense of well-being as you pursue your ambitions? By setting more attainable expectations for feeling good, you can enhance your overall sense of well-being. Does this mean you should stop dreaming big? Absolutely not! Dream big, but take time daily to appreciate and find joy in the small victories 🌈.

For example:

Finances – An enormous goal could be to earn £100,000 in six months, but if you can feel prosperous by finding £1.00 down the back of the sofa, you’ll tap into feelings of prosperity more easily.

Health and Fitness – An enormous goal could be to lose three stone in eight months, but if you can feel the same sense of achievement with each pound you lose, you’ll be more motivated to continue working towards your goal.

Personal Relationships, A big goal could be getting married, but a more straightforward expectation that can make you feel good more quickly could be feeling connected to your partner during a date.

Spirituality – An enormous goal could be to achieve total spiritual enlightenment. Still, if you can feel spiritual even while your questions about life and the universe remain unanswered, you can always feel spiritual.

Personal Development – An enormous goal could be attending a £5,000 training course, but if you feel you’re developing yourself while reading a good book (like this one), you can grow much more quickly.

Fun, A big goal could be to have a certain number of holidays each year, but you can also have fun spending lunchtime with friends if you intend to enjoy the moment.

Career – Striving for a significant achievement like a promotion is great, but don’t forget that boosting your well-being can be as simple as recognising a colleague’s hard work and making them feel appreciated.

Family – While aiming for a harmonious household is a significant goal, finding immediate joy could be as simple as taking a weekend stroll with your family.

It’s important to have challenges in life for personal growth, but it’s equally important to simplify things. Some people make life more complicated than it needs to be, but I disagree with that approach. Making life easier can lead to a greater sense of well-being and attract more success.

If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or off-balance, therapy, Hypnotherapy, and NLP can help you gain insight, clear mental clutter, and restore a sense of calm. These services are available in St Albans, Hemel Hempstead, North London, and across the globe via Zoom 🧠💬.

By Gemma Bailey

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No More Resentment or Eating Burnt Chop

Not eating burnt chop is a metaphor about getting rid of resentment. It’s a type of martyrdom where we put what others want ahead of what we want. Often not even voicing what it is that we want so the other person doesn’t even know that they’re putting us out. It’s a combination of a conflict avoidance technique, self-talk that tells us we don’t deserve to get what we want and a belief that asking for what you want is rude.

One of the by-products of ‘eating the burnt chop’ is that we resent the person who we are constantly giving in to. Mostly this is a partner or close friend or family. This can make us snappy for no apparent reason (as far as they’re concerned) and unhappy. In addition it doesn’t have a good impact on our health. Although I am learning to eat less burnt chop going forward, I still have built up resentment towards people from past burnt chops!

There are times when you do stuff for other people, that you don’t necessarily want to do and for some strange reason you forget to say ‘no’ and then you do it and then you’re miffed, because you’ve ended up putting your time and effort doing something for somebody else, that you didn’t actually want to do in the first place. A good hypnotherapist and NLP Practitioner can help you to understand and move beyond resentment. Find a practitioner in Hertfordshire or North London to help you move forward.

I figure that you’ve got two options. When somebody says to you “Can you do X for me and in your head?” and you think ‘I really don’t want to’.

Option number one is to help them anyway and love yourself for the fact that you are doing it.

Option two is that you say ‘no’. What stops you from saying no when somebody asks you to do something for them or somebody leans on you in in a particular way? Is it avoiding conflict? That could be part of it but I think if we pick this apart even more, maybe it’s more to do with a fear of being unloved. If we were to chunk this up to a higher level, we would go above and beyond avoiding conflict and if we were to think of it in a more positive sense, I think it has more to do with wanting to be loved or a fear that you’ll be unloved if you don’t do the things that other people want you to do.

So, the question you have to ask yourself is: is that really true? Is it really true that by doing this thing for somebody else you are going to avoid conflict? You’re creating a conflict within yourself and in the long term if it makes you feel grotty around them, then you’re probably going to end up with conflict with them too. Is it really true that if you don’t do this thing for this person that you will be unloved? Ultimately not doing something for someone might leave them a bit miffed for a while but in the long run they’re going to respect you much more for having the self-respect to be able to set yourself some boundaries.

They might even start to consider your thoughts and feelings more too. Maybe you need to stop being so selfish by always helping other people and give them a chance to learn to be capable for themselves or to even help you. What if saying ‘no’ to them means that they’ll love you more? If that’s the case then you can say no, without having to experience the guilt whilst you say it.

But if you say yes and you’re miserable about it, you only have the right to be miserable with yourself, not really with the other people, because you decided it, you decided to do it so you have to own it. You have to take responsibility for it. Who said yes? You did. Who took the action? You did. Who’s miserable? You are. Whose fault is it? It’s yours.

Consider more about what you are giving and not so much about what you’re not getting as a result of doing this thing for these other people.

When you work with a professional NLP practitioner and Hypnotherapist in North London, Hertfordshire you’ll begin to develop the skills to challenge your thinking in new and empowering ways.

 

By Gemma Bailey
www.hypnotherapyandnlp.co.uk